testing your vices
If you suspect you have a dependence on an unhealthy habit in your life, you may be correct in that observation. It can be helpful to test your vices; an exercise I try to do at least twice a year with each habit. I've done this with social media, with coffee, with sugar, with complaining. Anything you can think of that has baked itself into your routine is a good thing to test to make sure it's you who is in charge, rather than the other way around.
It is much simpler to cut out coffee (I think, anyway!?!) than social media, so let's talk about that first. Coffee is not a bad thing. Nor is sugar. It's when I catch myself relying on these things when I decide to let 'em know who's boss.
I only have one cup o' joe a day, but even so, it's good to keep this craving in check. Sometimes on days when I forget my morning drip, I'll take the rest of the week off too. After all, I have one foot in the door already with one day caffeine-free. Once I've hit a week (sometimes two) I'll feel satisfied that I am truly the master in this coffee relationship and resume my usual daily intake.
Back in February when I first moved to Kelowna, a BC influencer I follow, @haydenkortemoore was doing sugar-free February. It was a difficult time for me to juggle with the move, but I was up for giving it a go. I cut out refined sugar and kept natural sugars like the fructose found in fruit. I'd always been subconsciously aware of my addiction to white, refined sugar since I was a child. It was always something I knew was a prevalent issue in my diet — a hidden culprit that was the source of some of my anxiety and mood swings. After a gruelling few weeks, it suddenly became easier to say no to sugary drinks, to alcohol, to anything with unnecessary added sugars. I felt amazing; I was sleeping better and had more energy overall. And while I've since gone back to my "regular" eating routine, I'm now aware of which foods are loaded with processed sugar and I've substituted junk snacks with healthier options. I will definitely be doing another stint of no sugar in the future to test myself again.
We all have complicated relationships with social media. I've often found myself feeling the urge to throw my phone into the lake but feeling taken aback by just how much of a perceived dependence I have on that little device. After all, my message that I want to spread is only sharable with my audience through social media, right? Social media is how I've been meeting new people in a new city, and keeping in touch with what they're doing. It's how I find some meaning; connecting with those who share my values. It has its teeth sunk into me.
Oftentimes it helps to tune into what it is you're seeking when you tap that Instagram icon. Sometimes I don't know what I'm looking for — it's usually to pacify my boredom. But sometimes it's something else. If I'm craving connection with friends, a phone call will usually suffice instead. If it's inspiration I'm wanting, Pinterest is a great alternative. As is going outside, heading to a coffee shop, people-watching. If I want affirmation, there are so many other ways to celebrate my wins, like gratitude journaling and self-care. Bite-sized infographics are great and all, but if it's news I'm seeking, reading long-form articles is much more informational and context-driven.
If I exhaust all of these "needs" and realize I'm simply bored, that's when I do a social media cleanse. Usually I'll go anywhere between a week and a month without any of my social apps. Deleting them from my phone is a nice method of regrounding myself in what really matters. I also keep my post notifications off at all times — even when I'm not on a cleanse. This simple tool allows for me to curate my own experience on my phone without distractions.
Complaining is second-nature to us. When something goes wrong and your day doesn't pan out as expected, the easiest thing to do is to groan and gripe about why things are going "wrong". Recently I've started taking gentle note of the amount of times I complain in a day. It is shocking. I've started challenging myself to tweak the outward complaints into a simple shrug and moving on. No one wants to be labeled a Negative Nelly. And while you may not complain as often in front of friends or family as you do alone, it can still be hurtful to yourself and to your partner if you constantly complain at home. Think about what it does to your brain when you vocalize and thus make it your reality that the world is out to get you! Your brain is going to keep repeating these neural pathway patterns you've cemented into your mindset, so the only way to change that is to actively think about changing that. Even going a day or two without complaining is enough to spark change. It's been a breakthrough for me: one that benefits my mental health in the long run.
What are some of your vices? What are some habits or patterns you're going to put to the test? Let me know in the comments!
Stay real,
— K. JO
